Sea Glass, Heroes, and Kintsugi

How you are going though what you are going though is defining you

A friend of mine who knows my story once sent me a poem she wrote about sea glass and the process it goes through from being something shattered to something beautiful.

Photo by @chuttersnap on Unsplash.com

It’s a traumatic event when a bottle is smashed on a beach. Something so innocent and benign suddenly becomes a mess of shards and problems. But the glass carries on - it has no choice.

The ocean and its waves help by moving and soothing the glass, even through storms. The rocks and sand help by smoothing the glass, especially through storms. The salt and the sun help by warming and bleaching the glass. Time helps by allowing this transformation from broken shard to polished sea glass. Sea glass also becomes stronger in this form. It is hard to break down sea glass.

With all this help it receives, the glass goes from being a broken problem to something beautiful. Eventually, someone searches out the glass and, when it is ready, treasures it, simply because it has gone through this all-consuming process.

When I combined this concept with my narrative therapy, which is helping me to reframe how I look at my life, I was able to give life to the powerful players that helped me, too. It is a way to recall that among the pain, guilt, and shame, life did carry on.

What David Ripley did to me was horrible. There were also some bright spots around those times, fueled by several key characters - allies and mentors - that are important to acknowledge. Focusing on those events and people broaden your narrative, help flesh out your story.

I touch on these more in the hero’s journey post.

I find it important to note that the person who broke the bottle is not mentioned. They are not thanked for that act. And they played no role in the reshaping of the glass.

One of the author’s plate creations from his ZeroFucks Plate Collection

This concept of being more beautiful because you have been broken and repaired is also familiar in kintsugi. Kintsugi is the Japanese art form of repairing broken pottery with gold lacquer or resin. As a philosophy, kintsugi treats the repair of an object as something to be highlighted, as part of the history of the object.

It is a part of the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, which embraces the flawed, imperfect, and worn because nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect. Kintsugi not only doesn’t hide the damage, it highlights it - bright and bold - in gold.

On my left and right, the heros that kept me safe and sane, circa 1984.

Takeaways

It is important to remember positive times and people in your life, especially those who helped you find your new shape and to recover.

It is important to recognize that we are stronger because of the scars and the challenges we rose up to. These repairs we did are our gold. A vase repaired with kintsugi is a vase, not the crack.

It is part of our past that we live with, but it doesn’t define who we are any more than any other injury.

Sea glass photo by Kenrick Mills on Unsplash.com

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